The Holiday Review.

We had the best time over the Holidays! The very best was that it was the first in out very own home! We decorated the weekend after Thanksgiving. We always watch a cheesy Christmas movie while doing it. This year we watched Home Alone (One of Kyle's personal favorites). Our decorations that normally filled our apartment to the brim looked like so much less in a bigger space, but it did turn out cute!

 

We always make a point to go to temple square some time during the season.

It was extremely cold and busy the night we went, but the lights never disappoint. They were beautiful as always! We stopped at the JMMB to get some hot cocoa to warm up.

 

 

 

We decided to have a little gingerbread making dinner party with the Ewerts. It turned out so fun! The kids loved it and went to town making theirs.

 

We went to family parties and really enjoyed seeing everyone so much! We always play a white elephant game and Josh won the best gift!!

 

 

We decided for the first year that we would stay home on Christmas Eve and Christmas morning to make things a little more low key for us. It was so nice to have relaxing time! We had my family over for dinner Christmas eve and ate clam chowder (a Middaugh Christmas Eve tradition) and watched some classic Christmas movies. It was a great night.

 

Christmas day we made the rounds to the families after opening gifts. It was especially nice to see Amanda and Megan and talk to Ryan, Kyle's siblings that live far away! We have missed seeing them as often.

 

New Years Eve was really fun for us this year. Normally we don't do much, but this year we invited one of our best friends from Logan to spend the evening with us. Kat and Alex are some of the best friends we have ever had. Alex unfortunately is out on tour in Afghanistan so we missed him! In honor of Kat coming to town we made big plans! We first went to a Brazilian restaurant in City Creek. It was literally the best meat we have EVER tasted. MMM. It was fun to feel fancy for a night! 

 

After dinner we went to the celebration EVE that Salt Lake City throws every year. It was fun checking out everything that it had to offer. We played on blow up bounce houses, played dodge ball in a giant ballroom full of beach balls, listened to some Japanese drummers, drew on a neon graffiti wall, listened to some bands we have never heard, and saw some crazy fire dancers.

 

 

We counted down dancing to music and 2014 came with fireworks and a kiss from my favorite person. I couldn't help but get sentimental while watching the fireworks. 2013 was the craziest year of our life's and I can't help but be glad to see it go. I have a suspicion that 2014 is going to be a great year. I can feel it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Being Brave

This week we got our adoption profile sent to the closest office to our new home. We are just waiting now for our new caseworker to contact us to complete the new home study. We are lucky that the agency has let us stay online during our temporary stay in Salt Lake,  we just knew that if there was an adoption opportunity we would have to get a home study completed super quick.
What no one knew is that I was secretly really glad that I had an excuse to not promote our adoption for a little while. I had had so much fun blogging and facebooking and thinking of new ways that we could get our names out there before. We worked really hard and got a lot of good feedback quickly.
After the failed placement we all know that I have struggled with how to heal from that experience and I didn't realize that I was scared to try again. Well... I'm scared. I know that the same type of experience can happen again. The sweet women that consider adoption for their babies are going through something so incredibly hard. They have the right to change their mind, that baby is theirs until the papers are signed.
So now I have to be brave.
I have to accept how hard this was for us and let it make me stronger. I have to be positive about the life I have and have hope for the future. I have to work harder than before to get what we so desperately want. I have to truly realize that I may not get what I think I deserve or that it may take a very long time. I have to get creative. I want to learn from and help others who have had this experience. I have to heal.
So it starts again. Will you help us? Will you do what I know many of you have done before? Will you take our pass along cards? Will you talk to everyone you know about it? Will you blog it and FB it? We can't do this without your help! Please share our story and help us find our baby.
We are ready again. We are so ready.

Jaycie... the real reason we decided to move.

The first time we thought of moving back closer to our family was at our nephew's baby blessing. We were all at the luncheon eating and I was holding my niece Jaycie. She was not happy that she was being held by someone she did not really know and she was fussing. I was instantly upset because I realized this is probably how my children would react to their aunts and uncles and maybe even grandparents because we lived so far away. I hated that my niece didn't know me. It bugged me so much especially because we were preparing for an adoption at the time. I want our kids to know how much our family loves them and get to spend a lot of time with their fun cousins.

That night Kyle and I decided it was the right time to get ready to move back to the Salt Lake area. It is crazy how right it felt in an instant. We planned on moving while I was on Maternity leave from work during the summer after the adoption. When things fell through we still knew it was the right thing to move so we started preparing and looking for work. It all came together so quickly and suddenly we were moving. A lot of people may have thought we moved for a fresh start or as an emotional response to the adoption, but that isn't true at all. We may have never started thinking of moving back without the adoption, but we knew it was right to move and just kept with the plan.

Amber and Josh (parent's to the adorable Jaycie mentioned before) let us move in with them while we figured out what was next. We cannot ever express how grateful we are for their love and support during this time. They saw the good, bad and ugly from us during those few months. We were and frankly still are working to mend our broken hearts. Their family helped us heal and continue living and learn to have fun and laugh again. Their girls are the sweetest little people I have known and I would never give up the time I got to spend getting to know their cute little personalities! There were so many days that I would wake up sad and one of them would walk into my room and give me a hug and my day was instantly better.

  

I can now officially say that Jaycie knows me really well and even loves me. She knows that I am a sucker for a love and will give her anything if she looks at me with her cheesy grin. Here is a picture of us with all our nieces. Jaycie is the youngest with the silly face.

 

I will never know why we go through different trails, but one thing is for sure. Things happen for a reason and if that reason is that we needed to move down closer to family to get to know these girls better and to find a house then I might be ok with that. Love you!!

Home Sweet Home

Remember how we were hoping to move in to our new house by early December???

We got a huge surprise! Everything moved much faster than anticipated and we were able to move on Monday, one day after my Birthday!! I will always say it was the best Birthday present EVER! 

We love it so much and have been having fun all week unpacking and organizing.

Here are a few pictures.

 

I'm still figuring out how I want to decorate the living room wall and would love ideas! I have been scanning Pinterest for days and still have no idea what I'm going to do!

 

 

We were also really happy to be able to take this little guy with us. Meet Max!  

We welcomed him to our family about a month ago. My parents let us keep him at their house until we moved into ours. We very grateful they were willing to do that. Max is a Jack Russell Terrior, super fast and high energy, and hilarious. We love him and Kyle has had a lot of fun training him.

 

 

Positivity

My mom bought this cute journal for me a couple of weeks back.

I decided last week that I would write at least one thing that I am grateful for in it every day. It has really made me look for the good in life proactively. I love trying to find things that make me happy and living the "Glass half full" life.
Ever since our failed adoption placement I have had ups and downs dealing with my grief, but I want to be able to live life to the fullest and be happy with any situation I am in.

Today I am grateful for...
My Husband who makes me feel like I am important and loved.
My adorable Nieces who I will miss terribly when we move.
Fall weather.

House update

House hunting update.
WE FOUND A HOUSE!!!!
The last post about a house hunting was about a different house. It didn't work out with the sellers,  but we are ok with that because it made us start looking in Tooele where we found our home!
It is a cute rambler in a newer neighborhood just a block away from a great park. It is beautiful inside. We love the open floorplan. There are three bedrooms upstairs and when the basement is finished we will have five.
At first we did not want to buy in Tooele because of the commute,  but then we took a test drive to see how long it takes. It was only ten or fifteen minutes longer so we decided to start looking there.
As you know we recently moved from Logan, a small country like town. We loved everything about it. Especially the access to the great outdoors. We were able to go hike and run up the canyon all the time. Once we moved back to Salt Lake we realized how lucky we were and we missed it so much.
Tooele has the same kind of vibe as Logan. It is a small town with a canyon with fishing and hiking and fourwheeling super close. I'm so excited to explore the running trails and roads around our house.
Due to getting a rural housing loan it takes a very long time to close on the house. We were planning for November 15th,  but then the Government shutdown spoiled our plans. Now we are just hoping for the first part of December. We are so excited to have our first Christmas in our very own HOME! We are just hoping everything works out and that we don't have any surprises.

Falling for Fall!

I was so ready for fall when it came. Fall is my favorite season and I was ready for a change. We have been trying to get out and enjoy the beautiful weather and leaves as much as possible.

We have been walking a few times at memorial grove. We love that there is a little off leash dog trail for Toby. The trails there are great for running and so beautiful!

 

 Kyle and I decided to try out Rose Canyon. It is super isolated and quiet. We spent the afternoon walking up the little dirt road.

 

We are excited for Halloween and plan on dressing up... we are kinda nerdy haha! I am going to be a scout and Kyle will be an old man. Pictures to come :)