Saturday, April 13, 2013

5 things learned over 5 Years

Kyle and I just celebrated our 5th year anniversary. I feel like 5 is a big year! It sounds like a lot! Looking at it.... it is a lot. We are almost completely different people than who we were then. Not in a bad way, but we have just grown up so much. I mean look at these pictures!

It seems like such a long time ago! I thought I was in love then.... it is crazy how much more I love him now.
5 things I have learned about marriage from my marriage.
1. Marriage is about respect. Kyle has taught me so much about respect. He completely respects who I am. He never asks me to change myself and appreciates me for me. I have learned over time to truly respect him as well. With this respect we have such a chill marriage. We hardly argue and we trust each other completely. 
2. Never talk negatively about your spouse to anyone. When I was first married I had a friend that always talked negatively about her spouse. I noticed that I started finding things to complain about too. Soon enough I had a lot of negative feelings toward Kyle that were so silly. When I noticed it I vowed that I would never do it again. I actually brag about Kyle most of the time now and I feel so proud that he is my hubby no matter who I am talking too. In fact at work he is known as my hot husband.
 3. Recognize that marriage has ups and downs. We took a marriage and family relationships class together when we were first married and the teacher said that there a big ups and downs in marriage. At the time I couldn't see it, but I totally do now. There are times when we are totally crazy in love and so positive about life and marriage and other times when we don't connect as well. This is normal. If you recognize that this happens it makes it a lot easier to get through the down times.
 
4. Spend quality time together often. We are both pretty busy people and there are times when we are awesome at this and times when we aren't. When we make it a priority to spend quality time together we connect so much and feel better about our marriage. Quality time doesn't mean an expensive date. Usually our favorite time spent together is doing something active like jogging or going for a walk. 
5.Throw out your ideas of what would make life perfect and love the life you have. This is not supposed to sound depressing because it isn't. Everyone has their own expectations of what your family and life will be like. We all should have goals and expectations, but we also need to be able to be happy if things turn out different. For a while I was so consumed with getting pregnant that I couldn't enjoy the amazing life I already had. This last year has been the best because we have let go of waiting until a baby comes and just lived the life we already have. I now look back and I wouldn't change a thing because I love the time we have had together before starting our family.
 
5. Recognize that marriage has ups and downs. We took a marriage and family relationships class together when we were first married and when talking about marriage the teacher said that there a big ups and downs in marriage. At the time I couldn't see it, but I totally do now. There are times when we are totally crazy in love and so positive about life and marriage and other times when we don't connect as well. This is normal. If you recognize that this happens it makes it a lot easier to get through the down times.  

Marriage to me is having one person that you can always count on, a person that cheers for you when you don't believe in yourself. Kyle is the most amazing man I have ever known. I'm not just saying that because it's what people say. These past few years have been the best of my life. He is always by my side serving me and making me believe that I am beautiful and smart. I only hope that I can learn to be as supportive of a spouse as he is. I hope my children become just like him. I love you Kyle!