I went to an ultrasound yesterday with J. I love getting to see those big lips! Seriously though this kid has got LIPS! I love it! I can't wait to squish his face and give him kisses. I really felt attached and like everything was real. I realized that I had detached myself from this baby without even knowing I was doing it. I had a solid month or two that I didn't even think about it much. I know it sounds horrible, but it is a defense mechanism of mine that I hate. When I am worried or have anxiety I ignore things. Let's face it people adoption is not the road for someone who wants it easy. For months I have had to face the reality that this little guy is either going to become my son that I will love more than anything or I could end up heartbroken without him. There hasn't really been much doubt for us ever since J chose us. She is straight forward, honest and open about how she feels and she includes us in on everything. But reality is that he is not "ours" until that paper is signed and anything could happen from now until then. I will have you know that we truly believe that this little man will become ours. It feels so right. Especially as it gets closer.
J, M (J's daughter) and I had a fun girls day since I was down for the ultrasound. We got some lunch and had a picnic at the park. We fed the ducks and let M play at the playground. After the ultrasound we went to the craft store and had so much fun picking out scrapbooking supplies and then went to target to pick out the outfit Liam will leave the hospital in. J and I get along so well and every time I think about her I cannot believe how well we fit together. We are so different, but it fits. I am so happy that we can call her family. We love her. We are so lucky that she lets us be so involved and we are so excited for the hospital. She wants us to be the first people to hold him. I can't wait! She is getting induced no later than the 31st so only three weeks to go!!!