We always knew that this could happen but we decided to let go and let ourselves love J and that little man freely without protecting ourselves. It was our decision and we don't take it back. Today J was scheduled to be induced at 7:15 am. We loaded up the car with our adorable car seat and diaper bag with the cutest little outfit ready to meet and take a baby boy home. We arrived at the hospital at 7:00 am and waited for J to arrive. Time pasted and she still hadn't arrived. We called and texted her asking if she was ok with no answer or response. We waited for an hour and a half in that waiting room hoping that she had just over slept, but knowing what was really happening. I called our caseworker who told us that this probably meant that J had changed her mind. We already knew that, but we didn't want to admit it. That is when we left the hospital. On the way out I lost it. So many thoughts were going through my mind, but the biggest one was just sadness. I was supposed to be leaving with a son that I have loved for 5 months. We were heart broken. Later our caseworker called saying that J's caseworker had finally found out that J went to the hospital and told the hospital social worker that she couldn't go through with the adoption and to not let us know that she was there. It is over.
We have loved this girl with open hearts and I wish that I could hate her right now, but I don't. I'm just heart broken. I can't help but hope the best for J and her little family. I hope that everything works out for her and that she is at peace with the choice she has made. Now we just have to pick up the pieces and keep moving forward. We are starting by going on vacation, we don't know where yet, but we need to have some alone time before returning to work.
We want to thank everyone for your support during our journey. Our journey isn't over yet, we still need to find our family. Please keep posting our information and passing out our pass along cards to help us get our info out there.
Andrea and Kyle